You Left Me First
by sweet-n-sassy928
Summary: "You asked me not to leave you. So why did you leave me?" "You left me first," Supermartian. Conner's point of view.


**A/N: I do not own Young Justice**

**This is my first YJ fic, so please go easy on me. I've been told I tend to take creative liberties with characters: you've been warned.**

If anyone was going to end up playing the 'ends justify the means' card, it probably would have been me. Not her- not with her patience, or her kindness, or her ability to see the good in everything. It's part of what drew me to her: her ability to see the good in everything, even the good in me.

I never thought _I_ would be the one giving lectures on right and wrong.

I was wrong about a lot of things.

She sat in the middle of the room, legs crossed, staring into her open palms. If I was careful, I could slip by without her noticing. But two steps past the doorway I had to turn around.

I sat down on the floor next to her, leaving a gap between us.

"Conner," she said. She jammed the back of her wrist against her eyes. She wasn't crying, but her eyes were wet and her voice shook. I didn't know what she was trying to hide- it wasn't like I had never seen her cry before.

"They'll bring him back." I said. Not that I was exactly on team Lagoon Boy. But she needed to hear it.

I remembered the morning's events. Nightwing had put together a team to find him.

"What about us?" I had asked.

"Sit this one out," he had said. "The team thinks you might be too," he had looked over at her. She had that intent look on her face. "Emotionally invested."

For a second, it had been quiet. And she got up and left without arguing.

Before I could say anything, Nightwing had cut me off. "Someone's gotta look after her, Supes."

"So that someone is me?" We barely even looked at each other anymore. We couldn't be in the same building without things getting awkward or tortured.

"It has to be you." He'd said. I'd already made a move toward the door. "She still has feelings for you, you know."

I had gritted my teeth. Because he was right. I wasn't an idiot. I knew she still _had feelings_ for me- I still had them for her. It just made everything that much worse.

She looked up at me now and shook her head. "I know." She said. "I know." Her eyes went back to her palms. I watched her, quietly helpless, as a reluctant tear dripped down her face.

I hesitated. _Should I? No…_ But I did. I put my hand over hers. It was awkward for a half a second, until she fell into my arms. I was surprised, at how easy it was to hold her.

I stroked her hair, and she let it grow out in my finger tips. She looked like she was sixteen again, except for the fact that she wasn't smiling. I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen her just smile, for the sake of it. Now she just looked tired.

"I miss you." Her cheek was warm on my shoulder. Her eyes locked on mine.

Could I tell her? When we had been alone, we'd been together. She was the only one. Of course I missed her. "I know." I said, looking away from her. If none of this had happened and La'Gaan was there and she wasn't so emotional she would have never said anything. But she had that look on her face… "I miss you too," It didn't matter much anyway. The creature from the black lagoon would be home soon and it would be like none of this was ever said.

"Why did this happen to us?" She murmured. She was in a daze, not entirely coherent. It was probably better that way. "How did this happen to us?"

"We've talked about this Megan." Is all I said. I didn't want to say it anymore.

It was the closest we had been in months, and I missed her more than ever.

"Do you remember when we got sent to Belle Reve?" Her voice was so quiet. "And I was in that block of ice?" She was still; she'd stopped crying, if it was just for a second. "I could hear you." She stared off at the wall across from us. "Do you remember what you said to me?"

I did. But I wouldn't tell her that.

"You asked me not to leave you." She bit her lip. Her hands clamped shut over a clump of my shirt. "So why did you leave me?"

"You left me first,"

She closed her eyes. Tears drained down her sage green skin. I opened my mouth to shut it. What could I say? How could we fix this now- I couldn't be with her, but expect her to change; she was with La'Gaan, and I wasn't even positive she knew what she was saying.

"Conner I-"

A siren cut through the cave. We both turned toward the door. They were back, no doubt victorious, _feeling the aster._ I jerked my arms off her. She faced me, eyes wide, like she was in a panic.

"You should go."

"Right," she said.

And she was gone again.

But I still didn't want her to leave me.

**A/N: I love supermartian. I just do. Feel free to review **


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